I love STRANGERS

So, I ask myself:

What do I want to do with my life?

Well, what do I not want to do? There are two ways to describe anything: What it is, and what it isn’t. I don’t want to be a doctor, but I like trying to fix people. I don’t want to be a rock star, but I kind of do... Art means a lot to me (I mean art in the general sense).

Art is everywhere. I see art in the good, in the bad...

Some moments, I can’t explain why, are just really artsy to me. Some things are more obvious, like when a flurry of cars swerve and merge into the same lane from various directions concurrently, and merge perfectly into a line; or when a baby cries, and then some native sound matches the pitch, or harmonizes, or creates a dissonance

(Especially if it’s dissonant).

Some things aren’t as obvious, I guess. At least, I’ve never been able to (or tried to) explain them. Like after a night of drinking (usually, but not necessarily) when you wake up, and for a second or two…you have NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE, even if you are in your own bed.

I love that, it just screams art to me.

Getting a phone call from someone you want to talk to, but you are in a situation in which you can’t pick it up. Getting a phone call from someone you really don’t want to talk to, but being completely free.

Freedom.

Freedom from responsibility for another person, having someone who feels responsible for you.

When you look in the mirror, and say, "DAAAYUMNNNNN."

When things happen just like it was a movie. When things subsequently go wrong, because LIFE ISNT A MOVIE.

Those people you see that you think look really great, but you kind of know that they don’t get told that very often.

The smell of cold.

The feeling of being overcome by sweat.

When something awful happens, and everyone looks at each other and just laughs, because, "what the hell do we do now?"

Going to the bars, and feeling good for being hit on, without trying to go home with anybody.

The spark when you first meet someone who thrills you. The moment you realize you could totally make a move. The fear of making a move. The dive of making a move. The success of making a move... The failure of making a move.

Making moves to prove you choose whether to win or lose, using booze can help on who you use to reach that state of confidence, pompous on your sexy jeans and tight button up shirt, you flirt, maybe getting hurt, but move on.

The journey. Seeing someone up close for the first time, and still thinking they are beautiful.

When you do something for the story.

That feeling when you scratch something off of your to do list... Which reminds me:

what do I want to do with my life?

I have had the good fortune to look at my recent life and feel like I’m finally making it as a musician. I feel like I am good enough to be hired. My time is worth good money (on college student standards). I can afford to pay rent AND eat. I always have gigs, and I'm busy all of the time. But… I really miss one of my true loves: strangers.

Strangers make me feel excited, the spark of a ten second relationship. Like, when I am handing out flyers on campus. I get these ten second relationships with strangers, some we laugh, some are awkward, some people are douchebags, some people are attractive and laugh at my jokes, some people are weird and hang around for a while,

but they are all STRANGERS and I LOVE THEM.

When I order food at an airport food court and crack a joke with the girl at the counter. Is it just that I know I owe these people nothing, and they expect nothing from me? Whatever I do (within reason), most likely I will never be accountable for my actions?