Like photographs we develop from the negatives, snapshots of moments project opportunities for maturation to sub the subconscious for the conscious process of contemplation, rumination on the who, why, and how.
I know my growth was most evident following time spans prevalent with flavors of pain. Of course, one cannot see the galaxy of one’s experience from the vantage point of the sun, one must travel the space-time continuum to absorb the curriculum provided by the orbiting dramas of your satellite discomforts.
These eras of pain-induced education often correlated with an obvious situation we have all experienced… dating. I refuse to assume that I have had worse relationships than the average man woman or child, but the few extended liaisons I have endured have grated my patience and confidence, frayed threads peeled from an emotional string cheese, and left me in a timid vacuum from which I greeted growth in self control and maturity in order to confidently escape.
Please understand that I am thankful for those times… regardless of the argumentative or sexual buying and selling that led the Dow industrial to rapid recessions. Put differently: the superfluous negative qualities of the high density (low quantity) quandaries of my long term relationships greatly accelerated my growth into my present self.
As I was running in a cold wind back home, I was considering my current state of being. It has been almost two years since my last lasting love connection, parallel rivers and streams of infatuation, sex, and abhorrence running into a nearly dry tributary of patience, and I feel my personal progress has become lethargic, flowing slowly without fuel from stress and compromise; my lack of coital instigation stagnating to stagger my stag bachelor behavior.
Then I realized an obvious solution to my educational deceleration: I need another awful girlfriend;
another traumatic relationship to help me reach the next level of potential. I need a renewed disappointment for the transition from “It’s so funny when she…” to “OMG I hate it when she…” I need an impetus to drop all of my friends and disappear for a few months, only calling when my partner is busy or angry. I need a bedmate about whom I will complain incessantly, until someone suggests I end things, after which I will only sing praises of her awesome-nity. My growth like an oak from being choked up fortnightly, for realizing I rightly assessed a problem with honesty. My hurt would not be wasted; the vast benefits of practicing communication and/or co-inhabitation with a complete bitch and/or idiot would not only make me a better future partner, but a stronger human being!
This is obviously not the ONLY way to achieve personal growth… but it is definitely one of the most efficient ways to really learn about one’s true needs, and what one is actually willing to put into a relationship.
So, if any of you have a friend who would be awful for me, hook us up.
